Three women, two dogs and then there was John

Yesterday we took the bus over to one of John's colleagues and friend. She and her fiancé lived at a very nice condo with several pools in a well designed area. So much so that I imagined living there myself. The fiancé was away on a business trip, but hopefully we will meet him one day.

Jesse lived on the fourth floor. We tried to get inside an elevator but received no answer on the intercom. A family opened the door for us and we went with them in the elevator. At the fourth floor, which this family apparently also lived, we discovered that the elevator led directly to their balcony. There was no way for us to get off there so we went down to the basement. We found another door with another intercom and called Jesse from it. This time we got an answer, went up the elevator leading to the hallway and knocked on the door.

Jesse opened the door and immediately remarked upon my height. We laughed and entered the apartment. Two dogs came over to greet us. A bulldog named Dumpling, because he looked like one, and a chow poodle called Sumo. The owner made sure I was not scared of dogs before letting them roam freely. I think that was very good of her to do, very responsible. I liked her instantly. Heidi was there as well. We had not met in quite a while, so it was nice to catch up a bit.

John and I had eaten a big but late lunch, but the others were hungry and ordered pizza. While we waited for that we started playing a card-game called Love Letter. I think it is a good start-up game for a board game night. It is easy to learn and fast to play through. The food arrived in the middle of the game. We sat on the balcony eating and playing. When the first game was done we switched to Sushi Go Party! which has become one of my favourite games along with Eldritch Horror. The rounds of Sushi Go Party were not very even, but the end points were back to back with each other. I won, Jesse came second, John third and Heidi last. It was intense counting those last points!

We moved indoors and gathered around the living-room table. The sofa was large and soft, but a bit too far away from the table. I asked if we could move the table closer. Jesse said it would be impossible since it took four strong men just to get it inside the apartment. The table was extremely heavy. John and I put pillows on the floor to get closer instead. Heidi had brought Betrayal at House on the Hill and explained the game to Jesse who had never played it before. I had only played it once before and was glad to hear the explanation. It felt like a quick game. We never explored the roof nor the basement, until John became the traitor. Strangely enough the game made the three of the women the traitors and we transformed into ghosts. 

John moved to another room and we read the new rules. It was more complicated than before and we were pretty sure we messed up the rules during the fights. When two characters were in the same room the ghost was supposed to pick an object and hurl it at John. We agreed on which objects we were allowed to use and decided the three of us decided on one of them. John could easily guess which one we had written down since we had talked about what to call them. We think that is where we screwed up, John should not have known what we called the objects. During the last two fights we changed so no words were spoken about the objects and John still had to guess what we called them. For example, the rug running along the hallway, we wrote down runner rug. The statues in three corners of the room we called stone busts. This made is much harder for John and it gave us an actual chance to stop him. Not sure who won that game though.

It was getting late but before we left we played one quick round of Monopoly Empire. John usually does not like Monopoly but this was different. Did not feel like Monopoly at all. We kind of liked it. Each of us moved around the board buying brands and stacking them in our building. First one to reach the top won, which was John in the end. Maybe a game we should buy. I think we need to play it again to see if it really is something we would like to own. Another game to add to the list! It is so much fun playing board games with friends.

Thank you for having us!

Mexican Lower East Side

We just got back from the longest lunch ever at Lower East Side Taqueria. It went on for so long it ended when dinner would have been appropriate.

John slept until twelve. I was up around nine. We slept with the door to our bedroom shut but that did not stop the cat from waking me up. I spent my morning gaming and reading, got things done and made myself ready for the day. I considered waking John since we had plans at one o'clock, but when I told our friends that he was still sleeping we moved the plans an hour. When John eventually was ready to leave the bed it was thirty minutes until the bus arrived outside.

One thing I have noticed with calculating the travel time in Singapore is that most apps (like Google Maps, Moovit, Citymapper) says it will take twenty minutes with car. No matter where you are and where you are going, the estimated time will be twenty minutes.

It was lovely to sit on the bus and travel for so long. At first there were only a few people on board, but when we were at our destination it was crowded. We got stuck in traffic a lot even though it said on the apps that it was "moderate traffic" in our area. I do not want to experience the "heavy traffic" in Singapore. Seems like nothing would be moving and walking would probably go faster.

John and I arrived at the restaurant a few minutes past one. We took a table outside and the waitress asked if we wanted to order something. No, not yet, we are waiting for friends. Ash and Steve were only a few minutes away. A few minutes later the same woman came out and asked if we were ready. No, our friends are not here yet. She handed us a breakfast menu to promote that the restaurant was open in the morning, if we ever wanted to go forty to fifty minutes on bus to get breakfast (although, she could not know we lived so far away). The breakfast looked nice, too bad I could not have a waffle for lunch.

Eventually they arrived. We ordered beer, 1 for 1 (which is 2 for 1 in Sweden), and looked through the menu. They had a lot of good choices. I had chicken enchiladas, John chipotle beef burritos, Ash ordered urban Jamaican tacos and Steve chili con carne tacos. We had a tater tots nachos that we all shared. The other tree had spiciness options, but I did not even order anything with spices. Level three started on Ghost Pepper and was the option John went for. Level four was a Scorpion Pepper and was Steve's choice. Ash the brave had the level five - Ultimate Pepper. She is used to spicy food but level five made it difficult for even her to speak. Halfway through our meal it was kind of quiet around the table while everyone, except me and partially John, tried to survive. It was really good food, everyone seemed pleased with their choices (I obviously did not taste their meals because I can not stand spicy food).

It started to rain while we ate and since this is Singapore, when it rains it is like someone tipped a bucket of water and it just keeps coming. The sound above us was cosy but it made it impossible to hear each other without raising our voices. By the time we had finished our meals and decided where we should head next the rain had gone but the clouds were still above us. We crossed the street to have some coffee and tea. While sitting around a small table at a café they started telling jokes. When I say they I mean the three of them since I am unable to tell jokes. John had to work his way up to a dollar but never managed to tell a 50 cent worthy joke. He got the coin in the end though, but just because they owed us a dollar to start with.

Ash said we could come over to their place but I did not feel so good. It was around half past five already and I needed to lie down in a sofa. They kindly drove us to Bugis so we did not have to take the bus and it was more convenient for us to take the blue line to Botanic Gardens. I adore this couple a lot; they are very friendly, two very different types of personalities that works well together, are very relaxed and can change plans in last minute without drama or problems. Really good and genuine people.

French Friday

I was supposed to have lunch with Ash yesterday. I did plan to go, but when another friend said she would join I saw it as an opportunity to voice my concerns. John was coming home and would land around four and if I had gone to lunch I would not have been home until three. That time-schedule felt too tight for me who wanted both to clean the apartment and work on the book. Ash understood and I did not leave her alone after all. Later she texted me saying the other girl cancelled too, so Ash unfortunately ate alone in the end.

John came home being very hungry and tired. He boarded the plane Wednesday evening and came home Thursday afternoon so his sleeping-pattern was askew. We ordered delicious pizza for dinner and John went through his days in Paris in detail. I am talking about how many minutes (forty five) he was up in his hotel room after arriving there and leaving to go explore the city. I think he covered everything and if I closed my eyes I could see what he had seen (almost, it was very detailed). Since John will never write a post about this I will wrap it up for those who are curious.

On Sunday he landed with a colleague and after spending the previous amount of time mentioned at the hotel they followed a pre-planned walk. They ate typical French breakfast consisting crepes with Nutella and banana, and a Crooked Monsieur (a toast with cheese on the outside of the bread and ham in the middle). They walked past the Eiffel Tower, not going up in it but seeing it in the distance, and walked near the Arc de Triomphe. They found a tea bar with very expensive teas, but they sat down and took the appearance of being interested in buying. After they strolled around the streets and saw both Grand Palais and Le Petit Palais. John thought he saw Notre Dame over the rooftops, but arriving at the church he realised he had seen a similar looking building. In the afternoon they toured the catacombs. On Monday the meetings started, Ubisoft had booked the Louvre for this conference.

John did very well yesterday, he stayed awake until eleven and then could almost fall asleep immediately. He still had to go to work today though, no rest for the weary. The day went by fast, I did not even do anything. John was busy at work here in Singapore and barely texted me, which is a good sign. Good John.

Today is our friend Ashrina's birthday. She is my closest friend here and I truly enjoy her company. We had planned to have lunch today, since yesterday did not happen, but her birthday-breakfast was huge and she was not hungry. No lunch today either. Now we are aiming for tomorrow! All four of us. I will update the blog if it happens.

Happy Friday, readers.

Alien Path - app recommendation

Alien Path

Free to play.
In-app purchases.
Available on Google Play & App Store.
Developed by appxplore.
Official website.

My player ID:
k7XA88MRn1

Anticipated Lunch

Finally Ash and I had a lunch-date. For some reason it has taken us too long to have one. She is working near the City Hall station and the Esplanade station, so it was not very far away, much like going anywhere in Singapore. It took me twenty minutes to get there even though I had to change trains two times. Singapore - smaller than you think. The stations remind me of Stockholm with the whole art gallery at every station-project. I found these disco-ball droplets at the Promenade station. So far I have seen art on every station I have been to. Might make a habit of photographing it, although I bet someone already has and it is one googling away. Yes, there you go. I did it for you! Art in Transit.

Ash and I had already decided we wanted to eat at Sushi Express. I looked it up on Maps and thought I could find it myself. It looked easy, at the end of a long building, but when I thought I was there I had gone completely wrong. Thing is, Singapore has an underground city. It may sound grungy, but it is very clean and modern. John and I got lost underground once over at Marina Bay where we walked for half an hour without ever seeing the outside. Sushi Express lies underground and was clearly not in the place where I was. Ash wrote and said she would come find me. Sushi Express was closed anyway. Eventually we found each other and headed to Suntec.

We still needed sushi so we tried to find a Japanese restaurant. Malls in Singapore can be very confusing since they are so huge, but if you read the signs it will be easier. We did not read the signs and were heading in the wrong direction before we noticed one sign telling us to turn one hundred and eighty degrees. When we did that the sushi restaurant was right in front of us. Sushi Goshin by Akashi.

It felt like a dinner-restaurant. Few people were there when we sat down, but more came in over the course of our meal. It seemed like a somewhat common place to have lunch, at least for the people working nearby. We ordered via a tablet and a waitress brought us two hot cups of green tea. The only tea I am drinking right now - Japanese green tea. Some of the items on the menu were listed for $0.80 per piece so it was pretty cheap. We ordered a bunch and then went back to delete some of the most expensive ones. The first plate came in soon after we had ordered. The quality was really good, but when we had finished everything, the temakis still had not made it to the table. We had to ask for them and they were brought to us right away. It was a great finisher. I could even order mine without mayonnaise so I was very pleased. Recommended place when they have lowered the standard prices.

Ash had two hours for lunch and we had been eating and talking for one and a half when we finally left. She paid and we walked around the mall for a short amount of time. Ash wanted to buy a portable charger and I said she should since they are very handy, but when she told me she already had three I decided it was time to leave the store. We decided to have lunch again the next day and that I would pay for it so we could get even. It was so much fun having lunch with her! I walked with her all the way back to her work and even though we had not finished talking we had to split. A few steps later I realised I forgot to take a photo of us! She was kind enough to snap one at her office and send it to me. I got permission to use it in this post. I found my way back to the subway and was home half an hour later.

Hallucinating sounds

John is on a business trip to Paris. He left on Saturday evening and will be back on Thursday afternoon. Until then I am alone with a cat. Suddenly he is very active during the mornings and jumps around my head at six o'clock. Every time I go up, give him some dry food to stop his meowing and then close the door to get a few more hours of sleep. It has worked so far. I sleep between three pillows - a bad replica of hugging John. I miss him, even though he has not been gone for that long.

Speaking of loneliness, I lay in bed last night thinking about sounds. I hallucinate sounds. I hear things that are not really happening. I know why. My left inner ear is broken, it can not hear the low bass sounds. Especially annoying when I am speaking to men, some of their words I just can not make out. Usually when I am in bed and laying on one side (the good ear down in the pillow) I can hear things. Sometimes I sit right up in bed after definitely hearing a glass crash or a knock on the door. My sudden movement wakes John and I ask him if he heard what I heard. Every time he says no. That is when I start to wonder if he was so deep in sleep he could not have heard it or if I am hallucinating again. The sounds can be really convincing. They can be so loud that I have to leave the bed to go see if what I heard actually happened, or they can be soft and I can understand that I am not really hearing it.

I remember the first time it happened. Maybe it had happened before without me knowing it but the first time I actually hallucinated a sound and was aware of it was when I was thirteen/fourteen. I sat in the living-room, watching a series on the TV and the intro started. In the middle of the catchy song my mother made a noise to call the cats to come eat. The round lips and sucking in air sound. If you do not have cats, this might be a sound you have never heard. After that, every time I heard that catchy intro-song I could hear that sound at the precise moment it happened. The first three times or so I thought mother was doing it in the kitchen, but when she was not home and the sound kept appearing in the song I knew something was strange. I remember telling my parents about it, almost bragging because I thought it was cool that I could hear that sound. They did not pick up on anything being wrong.

When it became clear that something was wrong with my ear my mother took me to the hospital. I can only remember sitting in a small, claustrophobic room with an uncomfortable headset stuck on my head; one part not on the ear at all but behind and pressing against the bone. It was painful every time. They explained my situation and started speculating about what it was. Either I had had too many inflammations from water or my stirrup-bone had grown into and merged another bone. Both seemed exiting to me and I looked forward to find out what it was. A doctor told me I could get a prosthetic stirrup-bone! I could not even begin to imagine the operation. Unfortunately nothing happened. The hospital was supposed to call my parents and schedule something, but they never called. The whole fix-my-ear was put aside for a time.

When I was sixteen I got a hearing device. This was during my first year in high school and everyone had a computer. I only wore that device for three days. I had gotten used to my ear and hearing the tapping of keys like it was inside my head was too distracting. I could not do it. I gave it back to the hospital, feeling a little guilty for taking up their time to help with my hearing and not be willing to try it out for a longer period.

I have not been trying to fix it since then. Maybe I was hoping it was going to fix itself. By now I am so used to it I find myself not wanting to fix it. I know I could go deeper into finding out the real problem and probably find a solution, but honestly I am kind of pleased with it. Imagine going to bed and there is noise all around you. Normal people have to find earbuds, put a pillow over the head or listen to it until it stops to be able to sleep. Me? I just have to turn around!

Red is right, blue is left.

Right ear is perfectly normal.

Left is normal, but left inner-ear is not.

Suspicious Looking Person or Article

So my Monday plans finally happened. I did not sleep very well so I woke up still feeling tired. Instead of sleeping in though I left the bed with John still in it. Being pissed from the lack of sleep I was an ass towards John. He had not slept well too but instead of letting him sleep another fifteen minutes as his alarm was put to I rolled up the curtain and turned off the AC. I have no idea why I did this. It was really mean. I was not thinking. He said it was okay when he eventually came up and I apologised for my shitty behaviour.

With that in mind I felt strange when I walked to the subway. It was like I could not connect to the people around me. My legs felt stiff like they were made of wood and I constantly had to remind myself to relax. I felt even worse when I imagined what I looked like for the people (who probably did no care) around me with the speaker saying things like if you see a suspicious looking person or article, please report... It was an uncomfortable ride where I felt like I had possessed myself and tried to act normal.

When I got to the building where the Embassy of Sweden is I stood in the elevator with my heart racing. I could literally hear it beat much faster than it should. Was I nervous? Was I scared? Was I acting suspicious? Either way, I must have sounded pretty far away when I told the not-speaking-Swedish woman at the Swedish Embassy that I was there to pick up my passport. She asked for my old passport, which I handed over, and walked away to get my new passport. She showed it to me and I tried to take it from her, but then she asked me to sit down and wait. She needed to verify the new passport in the system.

I wonder why this had not been done before I arrived. Did I really need to sit here and wait while she did her job? Something that did not require me to be there. I waited for fifteen minutes! It is not a long wait but it felt like it when I 1. had expected to enter, take the passport and leave, 2. felt like a suspicious looking person or article and 3. had other plans (like eating lunch for example). Eventually I got called, not by the woman but by the Swedish man sitting in the next window. He explained that this was my new passport, yes yes I know that, and that the old passport now is invalid, yes yes I understand that, and that he was going to give me both of them, yes yes we agree on that. He made me sign my name while the passport lay in this awkward dent under the glass that separated us. It did not come out nice. Neither did my first signature, but it does look like I wrote it at least. Looks like I spelled my name with a u. Ellinur. Such is life. At least it looks like I have some colour in my face as opposed to the old one.

I exchanged very few words with the man behind the glass. I could not shake the feeling of acting strange so I was eager to get out of there, having spent too much time already staring at the same page for ever in a magazine while waiting. But the man had other thoughts. He was thinking to be friendly, as many Swedes tend to be. He says my address, not successful in sounding friendly but more snoopy, and asks if it is nice there. I say we like it there, indicating my not-so-present boyfriend (but the man behind the glass surely knows all about him, right?) and it feels fresh. Of all the words to use to describe a condo, maybe fresh was not the right one. Either way, I then realise that last time I was here when I wrote my address on the application paper where he clearly got it from I never mention d'Leedon, just Leedon Heights. This man probably thought I lived in one of those very luxurious villas with huge gardens that grace the sides of the address I gave. Oh, well. Our conversation was over. I thanked for my passport and left in a hurry. I stopped just outside the secure door and snapped a quick photo, still feeling suspicious for doing it when leaving the embassy. For some reason I had the idea that it would not be okay to take that photo. Super secret location of the Swedish Embassy. What was I thinking?

 

Alien Plans

My passport is ready to be picked up at the Embassy. This morning I said to myself that I could do it on Wednesday. Today felt like a relax and take another weekend day-day. Then I thought to myself would it not be a great way to start the week? I could get it over with. Instead of knowing I had to do it on Wednesday morning I could do it right away and get the day going. Embassy passport errands close at twelve so I had two hours to get ready and head over there. It only takes twenty minutes with the subway. I showered quickly, blow-dried my hair (and lost a fistful of it) and got dressed. My window of opportunity was closing so I put my old passport in the bag in case they needed it and looked up. There is one place in the bookshelf that is meant for my four cards. My ID, MRT-card, credit card and d'Leedon access card. Two were missing. I did not panic. I sighed. I knew exactly were my ID and MRT cards were. In John's wallet. John's wallet was in John's pocket. John himself was at work.

Wednesday it is. Today will be a weekend day-day. I will write on my book and I will eat the pasta with shrimps from yesterday's dinner. It was good, a bit spicy for me but John only used one small, tiny chilli. I am not weak, but my body is. Last night it took almost two hours to finish the meal. During that time we watched a movie called Arrival. It was a great movie. It had a good tempo and content, decent acting and brilliant CGI. The story was highly interesting and I do recommend watching it. John said it was like a homage to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I watched that movie when I was just a kid but I remember it vividly. At the time I was scared, even though I knew it was made up, but it felt real. Aliens have always felt real to me. I do not believe they will visit us or that they are of any kind that is presented in the media these days. What I do believe is that there are planets out there where some kind of life-form is thriving.

Speaking of aliens - I saw Venus and Mars yesterday. Venus shines like a bright star and Mars can be seen as a small red dot slightly above it. I love watching the sky and imagining the discs around the sun. Seeing the planets makes me feel bigger opposite to smaller. I think that even though humans are small in comparison to the universe, we are pretty big for acknowledging and understanding the other planets in our solar system. We have huge minds for thinking metaphorically outside the box (the box being planet Earth). I am constantly keeping myself updated on the new photos of the planets, the information provided by various scientists. I could never do that myself and I am very grateful that they share this with everyone everywhere.

Bryan's Birthday

We were at a birthday party last night. Our friend Bryan turned twenty nine and he invited a bunch of people from the chat to his place. We met Ash and Steve at the Serangoon MRT station and bought soda and chips. A taxi took us to Bryan's home. It was a four story building and the stairs were scary slippery. I asked why they had no elevator. I could have used it, but no accident happened so it was all good.

We gathered on the roof. It was already dark and a full moon was slowly creeping up behind some trees. It was beautiful! A grill was burning, cooking food for anyone to eat. There was chicken, beef, salmon, varieties of vegetables and fruit, garlic bread and other things I probably missed. It was a casual party. The girls gathered up in a group and sat by themselves out of the way from the food supply. I was part of that group (since I am a girl) and for the first time since moving to Singapore I felt like I belonged. I have not had a group of girlfriends in four years. It felt familiar, like we all spoke a secret language and we all understood each other without having to fake who we truly are. Maybe it was just me, maybe I just felt this way because of my history, but if that is the case then I am grateful for these warm and kind women. We are all very different but I feel like I can be myself around them.

At one point during the evening one friend came up with a burning birthday cake. We all burst out singing happy birthday and the candles were blown out. Cake was served to everyone who wanted some. It was really good. Chocolate cake with cherry inside. Ash wrote happy birthday and all our names on a card in the last minute and handed it over. I think it was appreciated. He laughed about it being written while he cut up the cake.

Around eleven the birthday-boy and some others headed down to his room. Upstairs it started to rain. I was starting to feel tired and asked if it was time to leave. We thought we would share a cab with Ash and Steve back to the station, but after half an hour of consideration they wanted to stay longer than John and I. So the two of us thanked for the invite and said good bye to everyone. We called an UberPool and had company from a deadly quiet girl in the car. The driver sighed and honked the horn at so many cars. It took a surprising twenty or so minutes to get home and yet it felt like we were at the far of end of Singapore. No matter how far away we travel from our home it almost always takes around twenty to thirty minutes to get back. Singapore is not a big country. It feels smaller than it looks on Maps. I am surprised, but I like it here.

Uncomfortably Confident

I am having trouble with my clothes. They do not feel like me. I have not found my style yet and I am ever so confused to what I enjoy wearing. I want something that makes me feel unstoppable instead of just comfortable. When I was in my teens I wore tunic and cosy sweaters over simple tank tops. I grew out of that style around fifteen years old.

Then I started wearing a lot more jeans and colourful shirts. I had heavier make up and collected more and more jewellery. I liked the looks - I fitted in with everybody else. I did not stand out but neither did I blend in. I felt like I had chosen the clothes that made me acceptable. Most of the times I did not feel comfortable. The jackets were small and the jeans too tight. The year 2011, when I was seventeen, I got pneumonia. Probably because I walked around in a thin shirt under a fake leather jacket in minus twenty degrees Celsius, but hey at least I looked good. I was sick for over a month, spent most of that time in bed and slept sitting up because I had trouble breathing.

After that illness I switched schools and made some new friends. I changed my style and tried to find something I enjoyed wearing. It was a mix of things. This time I started wearing cardigans underneath my leather jackets (at this point I also bought a real leather jacket which I loved). I started wearing a lot more colour, not just on my shirts but my jeans as well. I bought my lovely red woollen bowler hat and experimented a lot with different styles. It was a complicated year. I had a good friends and I enjoyed my strange outfits.

  

When I moved to Stockholm this look stuck around for a while. I wore colours and cosy sweaters, the I fit in style came back with the change of yet another school but this time I mixed it with the me style. Still I was not truly happy with my closet even though some clothes were favourites. I bought new things but nothing felt right.

I met John. I still had my strange style that changed from day to day. It was difficult to pinpoint what I was since it was this huge mix of all my previous styles. I even started wearing his clothes. He made me feel secure and eventually my style became relaxed. I wore large shirts and coloured jeans. I felt good about myself and comfortable in my clothes.

Then something happened. I think it was when my brain realised I had gone from young adult to an actual adult. My clothes did not match my age any longer. I felt like a woman trying to fit in with the teens. A lot of clothes were just hanging in the closet, others were put in a trunk. When we started cleansing our belongings before moving to Singapore we found a lot of clothes just laying there. Neither one of us knew what was actually in there. We gave it all away. We could only bring a small amount of clothes with us and so we packed all the summer clothes we owned. Many which still felt like my teen-style.

I bought a lot of new clothes here in Singapore. The old ones are tucked away at the top of the closet. They feel wrong. I try to buy clothes in a style I have never worn before. Recently I bought my first shirt with holes over the shoulders. Another shirt is my first to not stay on the shoulders at all but hang in a straight line across the chest. I do not buy a lot of things, just small things here and there. Yet I can not say that I have found my style. I have lost my interesting shirts with strange prints, I no longer have any bright coloured jeans, just the safe, desaturated ones. I have a black skirt I wear sometimes, but the other two skirts I own has never seen the light of day (or night since they look more to be evening outfits). I feel like the clothing industry has nothing to offer me. I can not find anything that truly says Ellie at age twenty two being at a good place in life. Not many things makes me feel like I am wearing what represents me. Some do, and those I like and wear a lot, but others just reminds me of someone I used to be. I have changed and so has my style, but I have very few clothes that can match my personality.