Unwell

There has been over a week since I last wrote a post. Even longer since I wrote about something happening in my life. I have a very good reason for this - nothing has happened. Last week I was not feeling so well so I never left the apartment. I am still unwell and really do not want to go outside. It has been raining for the last couple of days which has kept me from wanting to go out even if I felt okay. John on the other hand had to go out to get to work and got soaked yesterday. He reported that he avoided the rain this morning, but it is still raining though.

I have had this blog for almost a year now and I keep looking at the number next to the month in the archives. Five and seven is the lowest amount of posts I have done in a month. It feels like I should have had more things to write about. This month I have gotten so far as ten (with this) posts and that is okay. It is low but since I have had nothing to write about I am okay with it.

Feeling ill is blocking my writing. I open my documents but the words that are written are sad and incoherent. I am so close to the end and all I want to do is be done with it. I am looking forward to have it all there and read it from beginning to end again. Right now I can not. If I write something right now I will have to go back later and probably remove everything. My mood affects my writing. If I feel ill the writing will give away that feeling. I try to write those short moments when I feel alright. So instead of writing on the actual book I am doing side-works. Writing down all the species mentioned in the book, figuring out rules of my made-up universe and figuring out the structure of the chapters.

Tomorrow I have a planned lunch with Ash. She has two hours free for lunch. I am nervous about this. Will I be able to go? I really want to! I am hoping this will be gone by tomorrow but so far no good. This has to end soon, I have started talking to myself.