I think I am sick. I am not sure. John says I am but still I am not convinced. Thing is, I have fever. My eyes are blank and my temperature goes up and down. Yet when john touches my forehead I am not warm. Not more than normal.
I feel nauseated. In the mornings I feel fine, like nothing bad is ever going to happen. Like I had a good nights sleep, which I have had. Soon after breakfast the feeling comes. I must puke. Or I must lay down. I can not sit up, I might fall to the side. I feel dizzy. I feel sick in my stomach. I am hot. Then I get cold.
I have been laying in the sofa for the past three days. I have watched every episode of The Expanse (again) and started on a new series called The Crown. I have no strength to sit by the computer, apart from a few hours in the morning. I sit under an AC with twenty five degrees blast, which is colder than it sounds, and yet I start sweating.
Yesterday there was a Thanksgiving dinner with some friends. I could not go. John debated whether or not he should go, but decided to stay with me. It would not feel good to leave the sick partner at home while going out with friends. I share this sentiment. So I watched movies and series. John tended to me lovingly.
This is why you have not heard from me in a few days. There is nothing to say. I am very sensitive to new bacteria and we were at the hospital two days in a row in the beginning of the week. People do not go to hospitals if they are healthy. I think I picked something up and my body does not know what to do with it. Burn it, it says. Give her fever. WAIT! No. Lets not. Yes, come on. It needs to die! We do not know how to handle it. Yeah, you are right. Burn it anyway. No, wait. My body is confused. I get exhausted in the evenings.
If you keep coming back to this blog - thank you. I appreciate it!
